Email to Andrew

Hey Hirsch -

Thanks for taking time to write. I actually have four or five long entries to post but for a number of reasons have not put them up yet. Mostly I like to tell myself this is because I've been busy - but really I know much of it is because things have not been going well - and thus I know the writing is just whining... and how can I whine about life being difficult when I've got an ipod in my pocket, a laptop in my backpack, health insurance, and a plane ticket back to the US? And yet in some respects it has been difficult, and in some respects I have been poor. I have these things because people gave them to me, but for my personal bank account - I'm way strapped. I'll spare the details (and thus the whine), but basically for a while there I was having to skip meals or just eat bread - and I didn't have money for fruits or vegetables - or anything nutricious really. And this became depressing, because I was hungry and tired, and people looked at me like I was wealthy and spoiled - and the shearing between what I felt and how I was perceived hurt. A friend asked how I was really doing, though - and I told him... and after thinking/praying with his wife, they decided to give me $100/month for food... both for me and for others (a contributing factor to my hunger was that street kids needed food more than me - hence I bought them lunch and went without) (don't think i'm righteous - you'd do the same if you were here).

I am actually now at the internet cafe, but the connection is too slow to upload entries. There's lots coming, though - and many pictures.

Something I won't make public (because I don't want people to think I'm full of myself), but which is kind of neat... I went to the Partners In Health clinic with a friend, met Paul Farmer's wife Didi Bertrand - a medical anthropologist - and submitted a research proposal that combines elements of genocide, AIDS, and prison/justice systems. At the moment I've been told to wait, but I might very well get the chance to do research on an untapped topic with Gates/Clinton Foundation money. Sometimes I get too excited and have to chill a bit - take myself less seriously, because at the end of the day I'm just a small dude on a big planet trying to catch a glimpse of a bigger God. So research with PIH or not, I'm not that important, you know?

I've also met with the top Rwandese pop-music artists and think I've convinced them to release a song about HIV/AIDS, love, faithfulness/fidelity, et cetera. Pretty crazy to think I can just change influence them and thus public psyche like that. There are a lot of details to come, but I'll let you know how it works out.

Do you mind if I post this email on the website? It feels better to have explained what I've been doing to you in a manner that isn't overly dramatic, and maybe others would be interested as well (or maybe not... this is all just small dude stuff that only sounds big because it's happening in an area that people are afraid of).

Take care,
Benja